Anniversary Vacation Notes 2017: Day 1 02/16: Thursday: Travel Day.

It All  Begins

We were married on February 22, 1996 in the relief Society room of a Mormon church in the Methodist-founded town of Pitman, New Jersey. It was a low budget affair costing barely a hundred dollars. Food was prepared in friend's kitchens, no alcohol was served and even the wedding cake was home made. This all contributed greatly to the relatively low cost. 

  

Now, twenty-one years later, we find ourselves with a marriage that is old enough to legally drink. How, we wondered, could we properly celebrate?

 

And so began the planning of our 2017 Anniversary Vacation.

An Early Start

One of the benefits of a vacation day is the ability to sleep in a little later than normal. On some vacation days this may be true, but not on this day.  Even though the drop-dead check-in time for our flight is still hours away, we've left ourselves a fair amount of tasks that need to be completed before our departure. There is still packing to be done. There is still some shopping required for a few last-minute items. And, of course, when all the work is done, there will be the final showers and the drive to the airport. I anticipate a barely managed level of hectic.

For the most part there is no legitimate excuse for having put off these tasks until the last couple of hours. We had plenty of time to prepare. After months of scouring the Internet for the lowest possible prices, all of our traveling arrangements were made; months ago. Still, even with all of this foreknowledge we managed to allow the actual departure date to sneak up on us. It is possible that is was because our plans had been set so far in advance that we developed our laissez-faire attitude toward preparation. It always felt as though as though there would be plenty of time to actually prepare.

Minutia

Our vacation, as planned was ambitious. There would be few gaps in our eleven-day schedule. In that time, with no less than two and a half days set aside for traveling, we would be visiting no less than eight locations in nine days. 

For the first leg of our journey we would be flying from Seattle to London. From London we would be taking a short flight to Charles De Gaulle airport just outside of Paris. We would take a train to Paris and then another train to Marseilles. In Marseilles we would use the local metro to locate our cruise ship. Our cruise would take us on a clock-wise tour of the west-of-Italy Mediterranean Sea. We would hug the shores of France and Italy in the voyage from Marseilles to Genoa. From Genoa we would take a train to Rome and re-join our cruise. From Rome we would visit Palermo and Malta before taking the long voyage to Barcelona. Finally we would return to Marseilles by way of the Balearic Sea. And from Marseilles we would get on board the fast train to Paris and an overnight stay before beginning the return trip home. 

It might appear that at no time did we schedule a moment to take a breath. Yet, somehow, in-between all the flights, trains, boats, and cars, had created a few set plans: We would be meeting with a real-estate agent and a family reunion.

Little Bags; Big Plans

There are also a few other domestic tasks requiring my attention before we depart. Today is trash and recycling day. As these days only come once every two weeks, we really cannot afford to miss one. As is my usual practice, I place both the trash and recycling out on the curb. While I’m doing things domestic, I may as well run a load of laundry. 

Pack Lightly

Previous experience on extended vacations has taught us that the joy of traveling quotient goes down as the amount of luggage being hauled about increases. A major goal for us on this trip is to pack as lightly as possible. We're limiting ourselves to one carry-on sized bag each. The major requirement for clothing is that it be easily washable and suitable for as many occasions as possible.

It wouldn't be unreasonable to think that packing only a single small bag would simplify the process. In some ways it does. However, it is not without its unique challenges. In addition to being easily washable and suitable for all occasions, the selected clothing has to be right for a wide range of weather conditions.

There are additional items that still need purchasing. I would like a travel toothbrush. In addition I hope to still purchase some TSA-friendly items. This means containers of less than 5 ounces. The wish list includes toothpaste, deodorant, and hair shampoo. I know that these shouldn't have been left to the last day to purchase, but it's not a major issue. I quick run to the local drugstore will get me all the travel-sized accessories we I might still need. Slightly more challenging are a few other items that I would still like to purchase. These include a comfortable pair of walking shoes, and maybe even a bathing suit.


We'll be leaving the house for almost two weeks. Our daughter and some of her friends will be staying there, still there are items that I do not want to allow to accumulate. Flight departure day is also trash and recycling day. As is my usual practice, I place these items out on the curb early in the morning. While I'm doing things domestic, I may as well run a load of laundry.

Departure

With our bags finally readied for the trip I toss them into the back of the car. Our youngest daughter will drive us to the airport. 

British Airways has been pretty insistent that we check-in no less than two hours before the scheduled flight time. As a punishment for anyone who would arrive any later they promise to close the check-in desk at exactly two-hours before our scheduled 6:30 PM departure. As we did not wish to challenge their resolve in this matter we make sure that we arrive in plenty of time. 

The truth is that the airline's request that we show up two-hours before boarding time, is not unreasonable. Our past experiences at SeaTac airport have included some extraordinarily long TSA lines. I don't know if the SeaTac TSA agents are unusually slow, or just more thorough than most. Whatever the reason may be, waiting in line for two hours is not that unusual. 

Because we are seasoned travelers, or so we like to pretend, we think that we have found the solution for beating the long TSA security lines. 

A Nexus card is a primarily a passport-minor. Its major purpose is to facilitate crossing the Canadian border, However, unknown to most people, is that it can also be used by-pass the TSA lines in most U.S. airports. Unknown to us was that this is only true if you are flying on a cooperating airline. We would soon learn that British Airways is not a cooperating airline.

The path to the perfect selfie is seldom a straight one. 

Still, the Nexus card gambit was not a total loss. The British Airline check-in agent, expressing some embarrassment at the airlines decision not to honor this Canadian-approved fast-pass system, offered us a consolation prize. He rubber-stamps our boarding passes with something indicating Priority Boarding. Priority Boarding is a red-ink stamp on your boarding pass that allows you to cut to the front of the TSA line, bypassing the people who may, along with all of their luggage, have been inching along for an hour or more in hopes of getting through security before their flights issue that last call for passengers. With little more than a rubber stamp, the airline had provided us with the opportunity and the means to piss-off all our fellow travelers at once.

The TSA pat down is a breeze. It seems obvious that we're approaching a shift change and these agents are more interested in going home than finding an extra ounce of hair shampoo. As a result my small collection of liquid-filled bottles goes through unchecked. I am wearing TSA-friendly sandals, so I am able to avoid the hassle of removing my shoes. I'm a little less lucky with my belt, however, and I am forced to remove it. We're going to be traveling for the next twenty-four hours, so I chose to wear unusually loose pants. It is with some embarrassment that I walk through the scanner as I am forced to extend my already considerable stomach in order to prevent my pants from dropping to my ankles. With my hands on the air, a little bit of luck and as much haste as is allowed I make it through the scanner, grab my belt, and remain secured for the rest of the trip. 

The better selfie!

We collect our belongings and are certified as flight ready. This is not so much a formal certification as we're just basically ignored and by the TSA and permitted to walk away. We proceed to our gate, which is still several shops and a train-ride away. 

Our gate is in a remote terminal. All of the quality airport shops are now are in the main terminal. We have access to a few satellite shops: a deli, a coffee shop, a typical airport catch-all shop with candy, magazines and books, and one seriously overpriced restaurant. Neither of us is hungry but for some reason my wife has a craving for soup. We buy soup at the deli, find a seat and sit down to eat. We have about thirty minutes remaining before boarding will begin.

She sips at her soup. I don't think it smells too good. Suddenly she tries to say something.
"What?" I ask.
She grabs her neck with her hands, the universal sign of choking. She tries coughing, and coughing again. Something is stuck. At this point obviously distressing. I have to admit, I'm not very useful in this situation. Luckily, the next cough saves the day and a small sliver of plastic-wrap is expelled; cracker wrapper! She loses her appetite for soup and we return to the waiting area at our gate. It is only five minutes before boarding begins.

Little Big Plane

Using a system that makes absolutely no sense the passengers with seats in the front of the plane board first. This forces us back-of-the-plane passengers to squeeze past people who are trying to jam too much into already packed overhead bins.

To the best of my knowledge, this will my first flight on a Boeing 777. Previously I'd flow in a single engine Cessna, Boeing 707s, Boeing 747, assorted Airbus planes. 

As we enter through first class my initial impression upon entering the aircraft is good. It's true that the aisles are still jammed with people but we'll all be seated soon. The cabin appears wide and spacious. Business class is also impressive. Here the seats are slightly offset and face each other. A frosted panel between the seats provides each passenger with a reasonable degree of privacy. The arraignment allows for plenty of leg room, making it possible to stretch out for a good night's sleep. So far, everything looks promising. 

The promise of a comfortable flight disappears as soon as enter coach or sardine class. It's obvious that we will remain mostly upright for the entire flight, Any deep breaths will have to be coordinated with the people both behind and in front of us.  

After some maneuvering we are able to strap ourselves into our assigned spaces. Calling these seats seems too generous. The attendants direct our attention to the safety video. In the event of crash we are to place our heads forward, between our knees. Looking at the space between me and the seat-back of the person in front of me it is obvious that assuming such a position would be physically impossible. Oh well, it probably wouldn't really matter anyway, would it?

Obligatory Food Comment

The reality of airplane food is that your choices are limited. You can choose to eat it, or not. On a long flight, unless you're carrying your own food, I suggest you eat it. Unless you happen to be D.B. Cooper there's not much chance of you grabbing a Grand Slam at the next Denny's.

Rest Not

On most long flights, anything over five hours, I have always managed to sleep for most of the flight.  For some reason I find myself unable to fall asleep on this flight. I try boring myself with the in-flight entertainment. This is a total fail as the the first film I watch is, a Ben Affleck movie called "The Accountant". Is actually pretty good.

After the movie I switch on the GPS display. The GPS display features a barely moving picture of a picture of an airplane flying over a map of the world, at the moment Canada. The display also includes some flight data. We are traveling at almost seven-hundred miles per hour. Our altitude is--I don't really care. I'm just searching for the minutiae that might put me to sleep. Eventually, my plan works and I fall asleep. 

I wake up with a jolt. How long have I been sleeping I wonder? Two hours. Four hours. I switch on the GPS. We're still flying at seven-hundred miles per hour. We are still over Canada. I had slept for a little over ten minutes. I decide to watch some more TV, after all, how many more hours can it be before we reach London?

Just Outside London Town

We land at London' Heathrow Airport within minutes of our scheduled arrival time. Ideally, this will allow us more than an hour to catch our connecting flight to Paris. Heathrow is a nice airport. It's bright and it's clean. But mostly, it's just large. It doesn't matter where you are in Heathrow, the place you need to get too is going to be very far away. To make matters worse connecting flights, appear to be located  as far away as is physically possible while still remaining in England. These factors make Heathrow the ideal airport for anybody hoping to get in shape to run a marathon. 

Unlike in Seattle, where the TSA agents seemed more interested in going home at the end of a long shift rather than actually inspecting anything, the inspection agents at Heathrow are taking their tasks several magnitudes more seriously. Perhaps they're having a competition? They do seem intent on proving their worth with every bag they inspect, and they do inspect every bag. As a result, the line moves painfully slow even as the minutes remaining before our connecting flight's departure count down achingly fast. 

To their obvious delight, the agents find several suspicious items in my toiletry bag. Why my toiletry bag? I don't know. If I were an inspection agent, I would have taken apart my camera. With all the extra cables, batteries and other items that go with all things electronic, I think it looks damn suspicious. But no, what catches their attention is my toothpaste--a small tube of Crest toothpaste. 

It may be that the Crest brand is not well known in the United Kingdom. Perhaps that is aroused their suspicions. Whatever the reason may be they are not taking any chances. It takes them thirty minutes to test my toothpaste. They brush it for signs of explosive residue. They run it through a machine that detects radiation. In spite of all their testing, it is still only a tube of travel-size toothpaste. Perhaps I am overly judgmental regarding their zealousness. The packaging does indicate that this is not just an ordinary tube of toothpaste. This tube contains extra whitening power. 

Inevitably, the inspectors determine that we are free to proceed.

We get to the gate of our connecting flight just as the flight attendant is giving the final call for ticketed passengers. A couple of stand-by passengers cast angry glances our way and curse their luck. We hurry past and swiftly plant our butts in our seats seats. 

At some point during our travels over Canada, Greenland, the Arctic Circle, and into London, Thursday became Friday. How or exactly when the transition occurred is unclear. But it has happened, so the telling of Thursday will ned here, on a plane crossing the English Channel on its way to Charles De Gaulle Airport in France, about thirty miles northwest of Paris.